The reverse job search

How to ask for an introduction without spending the relationship

An introduction is the most valuable thing your network can give you and the thing executives ask for worst. The failure is almost always in the shape of the request rather than in the relationship.

Why most asks fail

The common version puts the work on the other person: it asks them to think of who might help, to decide how to describe you, and to take responsibility for the outcome. That is three jobs, and busy people postpone three jobs indefinitely. Silence follows, and both sides feel slightly awkward afterwards.

The other common failure is asking for a job. It puts someone on the spot about something they usually cannot deliver, and the polite way out of that position is to go quiet.

The shape that works

Name the person or the company

“Do you still know anyone at X?” is answerable in ten seconds. “Let me know if you hear of anything” is not answerable at all.

Ask for a conversation, not a role

People can always give you fifteen minutes of somebody's time. Almost nobody can give you a seat.

Write the forwardable paragraph

Three or four lines they can pass on unedited. Removing the drafting job is the single biggest improvement you can make.

Give them an easy exit

“If it is not a natural one, no problem at all”. Making refusal costless is what makes agreement likely.

Ask for something a busy person can do in one minute, and give them the words to do it with.

What the forwardable paragraph contains

  • Who you are, in one line, with the scale attached so your level is clear.
  • Why this company specifically — something true about what is happening there, not flattery.
  • What you are asking for: a short conversation, and what it is about.
  • Nothing else. No CV, no history, no explanation of your situation.

Afterwards

Tell the introducer what happened, briefly, whether or not it went anywhere. It is common courtesy and it is also the thing that makes a second introduction possible. The people who get introductions repeatedly are the ones who close the loop.

The honest limit

A well-shaped ask does not create a connection that is not there. What it does is convert the connections you already have into conversations, which is where most of them currently fail.

Keep reading

Related

See it against your own companies

A short call, your target list, and an honest answer about whether this fits how you are running your search.